Goodbye Life, Hello ‘Joy’

My heart is breaking.

A former client who became a dear friend died in a tragic vehicle accident yesterday.  She was 6 months pregnant with a child she fought to conceive and fought to stay pregnant with.  She leaves behind a beautiful 5 year old boy (who is now with his dad, her ex-partner), and a boyfriend, the dad of her unborn child.  The loss their family has suffered is incomprehensible.


left photo from May 6, 2017 (3 days ago)

I keep hearing her voice and her customary goodbye salutation of “lots of love” in my head.  I see her big welcoming smile and lovely sparkly blue eyes which greeted me each time we met on Skype.

I don’t often have deep grief when someone dies. It takes a lot for someone to become entwined deeply in my heart.  She is entwined deeply in my heart.  We come from entirely different backgrounds and life perspectives, and yet there was a loving synergy in our coaching relationship and friendship which melted that away.  Wisdom, love, and respect flowed both ways.  Working with her taught me how to suspend all judgement of someone vastly different from me and simply be with her as a guide, a coach, a friend, and a fellow powerful woman on this planet.

A passage from scripture that I often pray over people is from Numbers 6.  Though we did not have a shared christian faith, we had a deeply shared sense of spirituality and I asked her if I could pray a blessing over her at our last official working session last year.  She sweetly and completely received the blessing and we were both moved to speechless tears as the presence of God touched us.  Through tears, she finally said, “Your prayers are always so sweet and I always feel deeply loved by your god when you pray.”

Numbers 6:24-26:

24 The Lord bless you and keep you;
25 the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
26 the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Her middle name is ‘Joy’ and one of my first thoughts after hearing of her death was ‘now she truly is become Joy’.  I shall hold on to that intuitive, spiritual knowledge for comfort and my own measure of joy as the days progress and life carries on.

Sophie Emma Rose was an extraordinary woman who lived life fully and entirely the way which was right for her.  She was full of integrity and goodness.  She was as accepting of others as she was authentic to her own convictions.  She was uncompromising in her beliefs and still one of the most open-hearted, loving people its been my privilege to know.

I shall miss you dear friend.  I believe God’s face is shining upon you with his grace and that his beautiful countenance gives you the deepest peace.  And I will celebrate that you have now become sheer joy.

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Echoes

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Time stood still with you.
More than once.
Love and laughter echo
on and on, always.
Driving down a windy mountain road
in chilly late afternoon tree shadows.
Picking daisies in a meadow under
the ‘no trespassing’ sign because
we could.

Dancing to the music of our hearts
along a mountain ridge with waterfalls
laughing below.

Walking into Ocean holding hands as
though strolling down a lane,
smiling like idiots with the
setting Sun our witness.

So many memories of time
standing still with you.

Gone you are
with Yoda-esque nerve
and wise words laced
with love.

Through the mist of time
I see you now joined with Sun’s silent
witness and Moon’s elegant song.
Your stark absence cannot dull
the echoes of laughter and love
that continue on and on in
gentle waves in the chambers
of my heart.