Goodbye Life, Hello ‘Joy’

My heart is breaking.

A former client who became a dear friend died in a tragic vehicle accident yesterday.  She was 6 months pregnant with a child she fought to conceive and fought to stay pregnant with.  She leaves behind a beautiful 5 year old boy (who is now with his dad, her ex-partner), and a boyfriend, the dad of her unborn child.  The loss their family has suffered is incomprehensible.


left photo from May 6, 2017 (3 days ago)

I keep hearing her voice and her customary goodbye salutation of “lots of love” in my head.  I see her big welcoming smile and lovely sparkly blue eyes which greeted me each time we met on Skype.

I don’t often have deep grief when someone dies. It takes a lot for someone to become entwined deeply in my heart.  She is entwined deeply in my heart.  We come from entirely different backgrounds and life perspectives, and yet there was a loving synergy in our coaching relationship and friendship which melted that away.  Wisdom, love, and respect flowed both ways.  Working with her taught me how to suspend all judgement of someone vastly different from me and simply be with her as a guide, a coach, a friend, and a fellow powerful woman on this planet.

A passage from scripture that I often pray over people is from Numbers 6.  Though we did not have a shared christian faith, we had a deeply shared sense of spirituality and I asked her if I could pray a blessing over her at our last official working session last year.  She sweetly and completely received the blessing and we were both moved to speechless tears as the presence of God touched us.  Through tears, she finally said, “Your prayers are always so sweet and I always feel deeply loved by your god when you pray.”

Numbers 6:24-26:

24 The Lord bless you and keep you;
25 the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
26 the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Her middle name is ‘Joy’ and one of my first thoughts after hearing of her death was ‘now she truly is become Joy’.  I shall hold on to that intuitive, spiritual knowledge for comfort and my own measure of joy as the days progress and life carries on.

Sophie Emma Rose was an extraordinary woman who lived life fully and entirely the way which was right for her.  She was full of integrity and goodness.  She was as accepting of others as she was authentic to her own convictions.  She was uncompromising in her beliefs and still one of the most open-hearted, loving people its been my privilege to know.

I shall miss you dear friend.  I believe God’s face is shining upon you with his grace and that his beautiful countenance gives you the deepest peace.  And I will celebrate that you have now become sheer joy.

Which Story Do You Want To Live?

You are your limitation.

You are your abundance.

Which story do you want to live?

Do you want to live your past? Your fears? Your limitations?

Do you want to live your dreams? Your wild ambitions?  Your splendid joys?

Which story do you want to live?

Do you know that YOU CAN CHOOSE?

It is true.  You can choose your story.

Yes, there may be opportunities disguised as obstacles to overcome.  What do you do with opportunities?  Do you turn them into insurmountable mountains or do you turn them into adventures and signposts on the way to your abundance?

The saying is, “Ask, Seek, Knock” not “Clam up, Hide, Defend”.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matt.7:7-8)

You can choose your story.

Do you want to?

Here’s the thing: you don’t have to choose.  The power is yours to use as you see fit.

I’ve been exercising my choice muscle a lot lately.  Want to join me?

I love you just the way you are.  Love yourself, too, please.

Nemesis

Shame is the nemesis of truth and love.

Turn every encounter with this nemesis
into an opportunity to transform and grow.

Overcoming the shame nemesis
is worthy of Olympic gold.

This gold medal includes elements of
freedom,
grace,
transmuting powers,
inspiration,
and peace,
and
so
much
more.

Ever-loving peace.

Shalom.

Whilst the shame nemesis is powerful and not an opponent
to be underestimated
or mocked,
it is no match for love and peace.

Love yourself through the shame nemesis.
On the other side is a sparkly gold medal
full of exceeding abundance.

You are worthy.

You can do this.

Will you love yourself enough to believe the truth of love
over the lies of shame?

I love you.
I believe in you.
You
can
do
this.

Never Far

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Never far from Your sight,
no place to hide.
Never lost nor out of reach,
You always find me.

Even when I run,
when words are gone,
when emotion is wrecking
my ability to receive and
be rational,
You always find me.
You wait.
Strong,
present,
forceful,
fierce,
yet with the gentleness of a lamb.
You wait.
My Lion.

Finally, up I look into Your eyes,
and I rise.
Your joy is my joy.
Your strength is my strength.
Your love is my love.

Never far from Your sight,
no reason to hide.

You Are Holiness, You Are Love

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There is a natural sacredness in each of us.
We are each a vessel of holiness.

Why is this mysterious to anyone?
Why is this questioned?

You sense your sacred core.
It is reflected in your awe of nature and all of creation.

You sense it in the sunrise that stills your mind.
You sense it in the sunset which steals your breath.

You touch holiness when a newborn baby curls his
fingers around the tip of one of yours.

Your very breath comes in on holy currents soaring through all creation.
The living waters of life flow as a river from your belly.

When your visage stares back from the mirror, God winks and says, ‘hello’.
Why? Because you are made in his image.

Holy.
Blameless.
Blessed.
Loved.

Unwavering

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Rooted in the core of my being

is a deep

abiding

love

for God.

It is unwavering.

I question God, but not his wisdom or his love.

I question the bizarre things I see / hear done in The Church.

I question the conditional nature of love exchanged between most people,

me often included,

but never the unconditional love of God.

For me, he is not far away floating on a cloud or seated on a golden throne
ruling imperiously over his wayward children.

For me, he is in me, around me, ever present.

In him, I find a belonging peace which passes understanding that is untarnished
by soul troubles or people problems.

Nothing can separate me from his love.
Neither height,
nor depth,
nor powers,
nor principalities,
nor other people (!) can separate me from his love.

I sometimes waver
yet
he
is
Unwavering.